No matter how much inner work we do, we are all human and there will be moments when our fears or limiting beliefs from our past will attempt to creep in and take hold. When this happens, we notice ourselves being pulled away from the present moment and we revert to the past. The reason why we have such difficulty coming back to the present and staying there is because the techniques we’ve been taught by society on how to ‘live in the moment’ aren’t sustainable. What exactly does this mean? Let’s dive in and explain by revealing some valuable insights that will help you identify how you too can hold space for yourself and live a more present life.
So, what’s the secret to living in the present and why can some people so easily do it whereas others struggle? No, it’s not because their life is all rosey and they’ve never had fears, limiting beliefs, or experienced hardships that are pulling them from the present moment. The answer lies in fact in the very opposite. Those (I will refer to them them here as the Awake & Aware) individuals who are able to practice being present without wavering to the past or worrying about the future, have been able to do so because they’ve learned to embrace 3 valuable lessons I’m about to share with you now. They have chosen to do their inner work, which is so incredibly vital for living in the present moment, rather than adopting the techniques that society has attempted to indoctrinate us with.
1. They have learned to acknowledge their past, taken time to understand what triggers their emotions and have identified with their internal blockages.
Society’s Approach: If your past is painful, leave it in the past and move on. Essentially, forgetting about your past, is what society has taught us to do. Bury what hurts, hide what’s scary, and try to ’selectively numb what we feel’.
Society’s answer to living in the present moment and keeping your past in the past is all fine and dandy until something triggers us in a way that unwraps everything we’ve been suppressing and all the unresolved emotions that accompany. When there are no triggers, life is good, but when there are, we’re once again, left in shambles, faced to pick up the same pieces that have broken and been repaired, time and time again. At the beginning, I mentioned that society’s form of ‘living in the moment’ isn’t sustainable and this is precisely why. It doesn’t provide us with the tools or knowledge of how to work with our emotions, it only teaches us how to mask them.
Awake & Aware Approach: Their response to the full spectrum of emotions including fears and limiting beliefs, from the past, is to dive fully into them. The Awake & Aware choose to embrace what triggers their past rather than brush it under the carpet. They don’t attempt to control the feelings that come up, they simply allow themselves to fully feel what is there, allowing themselves to unwrap them like a road map, taking information from them and using this information to find links.
The Awake & Aware also tend to stop and ask themselves ‘How do I feel’ and ‘Where in my body do I feel it’ This technique helps brings their awareness back into the body and keeps them from getting caught up in the mind. The practice also serves to assist in identifying where a blockage exists and provides the information needed to indicate which areas require more love and attention in order to release these internal blockages. Through these and similar techniques, the Awake & Aware are able to gain a full comprehension of their past fears and limiting beliefs. They can then work towards releasing the blockages that controlled them and once worked as a negative force, taking them away from their ability to be present. Resolving our blockages from the past is a major key in the process of becoming more present.
2. They make peace with the future, follow their highest joys and release themselves from expectations and outcomes.
Society’s Approach: Teaches us to constantly anticipate what’s ahead so that we make decisions on how to live NOW based on the outcome we hope to see in the FUTURE. This technique pulls our thoughts ahead and distracts us from the present moment.
Living in the moment is inevitably easier when you don’t have any insight into future events right?
Society has taught us two ways to respond to this question. The first is, when we have no insight into future events, we should probably start planning for the future and make decisions now so that we are confident we will arrive at a particular outcome without any hidden surprises. Of course, some amount of ‘planning’ is necessary in life but more often than not, our society has taught us that if we don’t know exactly what’s in the future, we need to put lots of emphasis on thinking and planning it out, ‘uncertainty should be feared should it not?’ is the way society see’s it.
The second response to the question above, is that, if we have prior insight to the future, and we find out that the outcome is ‘not in our favour’ we should probably spend our time worrying, and trying to change things so that it will be in our favour. Of course, prior knowledge to a future event will help us make decisions now that will influence the outcome but we must ask ourselves, are we making these decisions based on how we feel in the moment or out of our fear and attempt to prevent the ‘undesired outcome’ and what lies ahead.
Awake & Aware Approach: They have realized that by spending every moment following their highest joys, the journey is what becomes important, not the destination. They do not wish, hope for, or try to change the outcome of a situation. If fears develop or limiting beliefs come to the surface, they simply acknowledge them, and then release the worry or preoccupations around them, for they hold no weight in the now. They choose to embrace the beauty of uncertainty as it presents incredibly bountiful gifts for those who live in gratitude and abundance around it.
When there is a looming event ahead, they simply accept that it is there, but they in no way allow it to create instability within them. Why worry for what has not even occurred right? This approach links harmoniously into our last point.
3. They do not attempt to resolve emotions that haven’t yet presented themselves and instead, choose to live with full vulnerability no matter what.
Society’s Technique: We must do whatever we can to ensure we don’t experience ‘unpleasant emotions’ such as sadness, loss, despair, heartbreak or similar in the future. Why? Because, if we know we are coming up against something that will shake our emotions, isn’t it better to build a shield of protection before we get hit with the fire? One would think the answer is yes, but in reality, society’s coping technique of ‘preparing for the blow’ is actually pulling you further away from living in the moment.
Here’s an example to demonstrate this concept…
You’re in a relationship to which you feel incredible in for multiple reasons, one of the most beautiful being the fact that without a label or ‘formal commitment’ you feel harmoniously connected to this other person; you don’t need to hold them close to feel like they won’t fly away. Most importantly, you’ve released yourself from the outcome of worrying about what the future holds and are simply enjoying the moment but what now happens when you learn that things are about to change, let’s take for example the situation in which the person you’ve been sharing so much of yourself with will be heading off on an adventure to where… who knows exactly, and for how long…the even bigger question.
Using society’s technique, we typically approach situations like this by starting to build our protective shield. We tend to implement 1 or both of the following tactics to do this.
– We press pause, inhibiting ourselves from diving further into the relationship so that we don’t develop more feelings. We protect ourselves from the ‘inevitable heartbreak’ we think we will feel.
– Worse than pressing pause, those who seek stronger forms of protection will actually tend to retract back and start to pull away.
We all know these are unhealthy responses but yet many people implement them because these techniques have literally been ingrained in us.
Awake & Aware Approach: These individuals do not implement protection techniques. They trust in the universe, the law of attraction and choose an abundance mindset over one of lack. Rather than build a shield, they dive deeper into vulnerability, recognizing even more that every moment is precious and that their time is better spent savouring these moments than worrying about what the future holds. The act of being vulnerable grounds them, connects them, and allows them to more easily embrace the moment. Embracing vulnerability, and detaching from the outcome (As discussed in the 2nd technique) is what helps us to stay in the moment. The Awake & Aware have learned how to simply be and trust in the journey, remembering that all that is meant to be will be, no matter what. They understand that attempting to resolve emotions before they’ve even developed, is counterproductive and keeps them from experiencing every beautiful moment.
Becoming Awake & Aware
Arriving to the Awake & Aware state is not easy and it takes a lot of internal work before we can get there. Self development is a continuous process, it is always taking place and it’s up to you whether you choose to use the information your emotions provide in order to help you grow.
It’s important to remember, pushing aside the emotions and feelings from the past to ‘try’ and be present is not sustainable. The first and most important step you’ll need to take in order to live the art of being present, is to resolve what’s in your past. The second step is to make peace with the future and release any preconceived outcomes whether they be merely anticipated or inevitable ones. Finally, being 100% present will only be possible, if you’ve put down your hammer and nails, stopped building your shield and have opened yourself up to vulnerability.
* This post was written to be informative and provide some valuable insights into how one can live a more present life but more importantly, I wrote it for myself as a way to process some of the emotions that have been coming up for me lately. It also serves as a reminder that although the Awake & Aware state does require bravery, there is nothing to ever fear in this life. When you continue to move forward without fear, without expectation, and keep sharing your loving heart, the universe will continue to share its abundance. Living in the moment for me, truly means letting go of control and simply letting all be. Making an active decision to flow within the moment and expressing gratitude for all the small but incredibly meaningful gifts that have flowed into my life.
Vivir el Momento
Eliminando todo que ha pasado
No es una manera saludable establecer un resultado
Si no hay una resolución con su pasado,
Las creencias limitantes y miedos siempre volvera entrar
Inhibiendo su capacidad de vivir el momento desde dentro
Si planifica demasiado de su futuro
Anticipando todos los eventualidades
Estáras viviendo afuera el momento
Corre al futuro y perderás el oportunidad aprovechar los regalos del ahora
Seguir su alegria al maximo
sin pensar en el destinacion,
Disfrutando el viaje, por el viaje es lo que es el mas importante
Seguir con todo su vulnerabilidad
Quita las reglas de la sociedad
Y las técnicas de como proteger tus propias emociones
La protección en este caso no es buena
Vivir en el momento no es siempre fácil
Pero vivir en el momento, con vulnerabilidad y sin pensar sobre mas que esta ahora mismo, este es el clave.
Si sientes, siente todos de su sentimientos y emociones
Si tienes temores del pasado, permítete sanar sin miedo, revela lo que esta ahi
Si sabe el futuro y no es favourable, hacer las paces con eso y liberar
Este es como podemos empezar vivir en el momento
El momento es ahora
Breathe with Intention 