It’s Time to Say Goodbye Edinburgh
Let me tell you that packing my life back into a travel backpack and carry-on suitcase is not something I seem to be too good at; thankfully, I have someone who, although with frustration and unwillingness, has gently put up with the majority of my bitching through it all. Getting rid of half of the things I have accumulated during my time in Scotland has been interesting to say the least. All I know is that whomever visits the dumpster behind our flat will feel like Christmas has arrived just a little earlier this year.
So I won’t go into much detail, as I hope to forgot the past 12 hours of packing and unpacking but I will emphasise, when embarking on new travels and trying to take all with you that you’ve acquired, expect to do some dumping. In my case, after finally reaching acceptance with the parting of many items earlier in the week, this morning I found myself dumping another quarter of my life in the airport bins as I ran to my gate just as the plane was about to depart.
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A week following my departure from Scotland, my first home abroad, I find myself in a new life completely, which has taken me to Santander, Spain, however not everything has been as expected.
When you finally think you have things figured out or have settled into a comfy rhythm this is the exact moment that everything changes. In a moment of reflection, this hopeless poet wrote her first poem.
La Ola
Just as you lay out that beach towel in what seems to be the optimum place,
A wave rolls in…barely allowing enough time to retreat,
Often all it is will be nothing more than a gentle push,
A reminder to move on.
Sometimes that wave,
The very same one which seemed so calm and relaxed,
Crashes down on you at full speed.
The Wave, possibly one of the most accurate metaphors for life,
The way it adapts and recovers;
Never truly damaged no matter how hard or strong the blow,
Never alone nor silent,
Always trying to reach as far as it can go
I have learned that there is nothing that gets in the way of happiness more than spending ones time worrying about that wave that may or may not crash down on you. Yes it is true that you can place yourself in a more favorable position in order to lesson your chances of the wave reaching but in the end, it may happen regardless no matter which efforts you make to prevent it. Es muy importante to spend your time relaxed and enjoying life so that when it decides to pick you up and carry you away, you’ll know how to ride the wave rather than be pulled in.
To one coin there are two sides, in one situation there are always two outcomes if not more, there are always options from which you can select your path.
So what led me to move to Spain then…
After 9 months in Edinburgh and feeling sucked of my energy for several reasons I made a decision to move on. I decided to search for the feelings of absolute happiness I had when I first embarked on this crazy adventure almost a year ago. Having arrived in Spain almost two weeks ago now, I can feel that the life inside me is coming back, most importantly because I am back to the lifestyle which I fell in love with the first time I was here and second, I am in a completely different place in my life. I have returned to the peace I needed so desperately, and at this moment, I could not be happier as I look out over the Cantabrian Sea, smiling with every muscle I have.
When I left home last October (2012), I didn’t have any plans and this is how I hope to continue for at least the time being. I had come to Scotland to find a job that would help me build experience in my field however, after encountering difficulties and in the end settling for work in a cafe bakery, I was forced to switch my focus. From that moment on, my objective in Scotland was to meet as many people I could and learn from all the cultures around me. This is exactly what I did, until I felt that I had taken everything I could from my experiences in Scotland. At this time I decided it was best to move on since my life in Edinburgh was drifting further from what I had wanted when I first arrived.
After looking back over the last 11 months there are many things I have learned from my travels and experiences, some of which will stay with me forever. One of the most important lessons has propelled me to where I am now. There were a few distinct times, during my travels, I remember when I had let things pass me by. Mostly what I am referring to is having to watch people whom I felt connected to, leave with nothing more than a simple goodbye. After these moments, I vowed to myself to always follow my heart and to spend more time taking risks than thinking about the outcomes. I found out the hard way that it’s more painful to sit back waiting, having not took a chance and then find out in the end that the chance you could have taken may have resulted in the best outcome.
Well so what does it all mean then? My heart has led this over rational girl, who’s constantly weighing odds every time a road block appears, to the North of Spain. I am happier then I’ve been in a while and am quite possibly taking the biggest risk of my life, with courage and an absence of fear. Someone once told me not to be afraid of swimming without your feet touching and oh boy that is more than true for me right now. I feel like I’m in the ocean without flippers but yet I have no trouble staying afloat.
Santander, Spain
Date: September 2013
Breathe with Intention 